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Wednesday, August 24, 2005

since the 3rd of aug..
been living alone in lala land..wondering my tots n thinking my wonders..
been moving on real slow..really slowly..think before i do everything.. call, sms EVERYTHING u name it..been avoidin the 'devil side'of meh` each time it "speaks" to me.. I HAVE FREEEDOM but i aint abusing it.. i m keepin my promise eventhough no one really cares abt it.. but i noe the lord will.. i hope he helps me

its as though im in a test.. a test to retrieve wart i had, treasure and crave before back into my records.. a test of being able to survive on my own.. a test of being true to myself n keepin my promises tt i've made before.. its lyke a MAJOR examination whereby nothing can happen, not one wrong move, not one wrong word and NEVER to LIE to anyone..cause if any of the above occurs i'll be dead meat.. i GUESS...cause since the 3rd of aug, no one asks me on how sch was.. whether i ate.. everything ah..

i didnt had my sweets today also.. someone gave me money to get my sweet tt i wanted so much.. but i dun wanna take ppl money to get it for myself..eventhough it was juz sweetss.. i feel indebted to everyone for already helpin me soo much.. and tt i took it for granted.. thinkin tt they'll always be there.. i 've woken up n miss the real person u all are..

since the 3rd..i've beeen having sleepless nites thinkin or reminice abt the past remember everything vividly..i do see myself cryin smts..i spent an hour plus, last friday i guess, sitting infront of the mirror lookin at myself..talkin to myself when suddenly the phone rang n sum1 called.. i got a shock i didnt expect a phone called frm tt sum 1.. but was nice tt sum 1 ask wart was i doin on a friday nyte..

today is the 24th of aug, i've been alone for soo long.. n i understand tt keepin to myself is better cause ppl might juz have the wrong intepretations n thus leads to another story..

then again...it kills.. depression kills

i wont get killed


i heart yous

me myself and i


Dance like nobody's watching